The Magical Uses of Parchment
by SlytherinGodesse
Summary: Up in a dormitory decorated in red and gold, a redheaded girl had to suppress a scream of annoyance. Down in a dormitory done in green and silver a blond boy was smirking. Ginny charms a piece of parchment to communicate through it, when Draco finds it...
1. Not even talking

Disclaimer: Me does not own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy #pouts# or Ginny Weasley. Méh!

Special thanks to my luvley friend SilverOpal, who wasso kind to beta this and managed to find a total of...dundundun 2 mistakes!HOORAY FORSILVEROPAL!#hooray-ed#

**Hello?**

_Hello._

**Is this... **

_Who?_

**Harry Potter, by any chance?**

_Hell no! It's me! _

**Tom?**

_NO! Just me!_

**I take it that 'me' isn't referring to Harry?**

_I am too deeply insulted to answer that stupid question. _

**Why would you be insulted because I think this is Harry, considering this piece of parchment was meant for him?**

_Because Harry bloody Potter is the filthiest, greatest and most awful prick ever. That's why._

**No he isn't! He's great and nice and much better than you are!**

_And who am I?_

**I wouldn't know!**

_Then how do you know Potter is better then me?_

**I can tell.**

_How?_

**Shut up! I just can!**

_I wasn't even talking._

**Yes you was!**

_No I wasn't._

**Okay! Writing, then! Stop it! How did you get this piece of parchment? It wasn't meant for you!**

_I picked it up._

**Yeah, well, go pick it down. I mean, damn. Go put it right back were you found it! I did not enchant this for some arrogant git to write on it!**

_Yes you did._

**NO I DIDN'T!**

_Yes you did._

**DID NOT!**

_Did too._

**SHUT UP!**

_I wasn't even talking._

**Yes you were!**

_No I wasn't._

**STOP IT!**

_Stop what?_

**This! As I said, I did not go through all this work to find out how to enchant a piece of parchment to communicate through it so some rude blunt idiot can talk to me through it!**

_Yes you did._

**NO-I-DID-NOT! **

_Yes. You said it was for Potter._

**SO?**

_He is a rude blunt idiotic arrogant git._

**NOT TRUE!**

_You are very immature._

**AM NOT!**

_Are too._

**AM NOT! **

_Are too._

**SHUT UP!**

_I wasn't even talking._

Up in a dormitory decorated in red and gold, a redheaded girl had to suppress a scream of annoyance.

Down in a dormitory done in green and silver a blond boy was smirking.

**I HATE YOU AND YOU'RE ANNOYING ME AND YOU GO RIGHT BACK DOWN THE CLASSROOM WERE YOU FOUND THIS BLOODY PIECE OF PARCHMENT BEFORE I COME AND KICK YOUR ASS!**

_No._

**WHAT IT WRÓNG WITH YOU? YOU'RE AWFUL!**

_So I've been told._

**Wanker.**

_You're a girl, right?_

**How would you know?**

_Because you charmed a piece of parchment to talk through it with Potter. You must be a brainless girl with an annoying crush on Potter. And you sound like a girl._

**SO?**

_So, if you're a girl, I know what to insult you with._

**Wanker.**

_You said that twice._

**I mean it twice.**

_Very witty._

**I know!**

_Bint._

**Ass.**

_Twit._

**Git.**

_That rhymes._

**So?**

_So what?_

**SO? Yes it rhymes, so?**

_Nothing. Just informing you. _

**GREAT! I'M SO THRILLED TO KNOW THAT!**

_Are you?_

**NO!**

_Then why do you say you are?_

_Are you still there?_

_Hello?_

**S-H-U-T-U-P**

_Excuse me?_

**S.H.U.T.U.P.**

_Come again?_

**S**

**H**

**U**

**T**

**U**

**P**

_Still don't get it..._

Up in the red and gold dormitory, the girl was now screaming with frustration.

Down in the green and silver dormitory, the boy was now laughing out loud.

**I'm just going to ignore you.**

_You can always try, right?_

**You can't see, but I'm sticking my tongue out RIGHT now!**

_I would love to see that!_

**I bet you would… So, are you a stupid hormonal teenage little firstyear-boy? 'Cause you sure act like it.**

_I am no firstyear!_

**HAH! **

_What?_

**Nothing… Just… I know something you don't want me to know!**

_And please do enlighten me, what would that be?_

**Hmm…Dunno if I should say it or not… Lemme think.**

_I am letting you think… Think quickly._

**Hmm… Okay: NO! I'M NOT TELLING YOU! HAH!**

_You are rambling._

**SO?**

_I do not like people who ramble._

**AND I DO NOT LIKE YOU!**

_Pleased to know that._

**HIHI!**

_You giggled._

**Errr… I know that. **

_I do not like giggling. Hereby I state I do not like you._

**I dunnot care.**

_You are a strange girl. _

**In what house are you?**

_In what house are you?_

**You first**

_No. You go first._

**NO, YOU!**

_Why me?_

**Because I asked first.**

_Well, you asked first, so you can answer first._

**You do not make any sense.**

_So? _

**Blahblahblah. You bore me.**

_Pleased to know that._

**Are you?**

_If I wasn't, would I be stating I was?_

**I bet you would.**

_Love to bet with you on that._

**Tell me your name.**

_Tell me your name._

**NO! YOU FIRST!**

_No, you first._

**WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO GO FIRST WITH YOU?**

_Because you always ask first._

**I am very busy with disliking you at the moment. Excuse me if I do not talk in the next five minutes.**

_You are hereby excused._

**Nice.**

_I know._

**What's your name?**

_What's your name?_

**Hah hah hah.**

_You are stupid._

**And you are obnoxious.**

_I consider that as a compliment. You are an immature freak._

**I consider that as a compliment.**

_You should. I bet that is a compliment compared to what people usually say to you._

**I can't hear you!**

_Of course you can't. I'm not even talking. _

**Yes you are!**

_No I'm not._

**Then what are you doing?**

_This thing that involves a quill and parchment and is called 'writing'._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**Tell me your name.**

_No._

**YOU ARE BORING AND ANNOYING ME!**

_That's called a coincidence. You are boring and annoying me as well, you see._

**Blahblahblah.**

_When you do that, it looks like you're a fish to the people who read this._

**Fish are cool.**

_No they're not._

**YES-THEY-ARE-MISTER-OBNOXIOUS-IDIOT!**

_You keep telling yourself that, miss really-weird-person._

**I'm tired.**

_I congratulate you._

**I'm going to sleep.**

_That would seem a nice way to solve the problem you had with being tired._

**I know, wouldn't it?**

_No. My previous phrase would be classified as 'sarcasm'. _

**Cool.**

_If you say so._

**Okay. Tell me your name before I go?**

_Sweet dreams, joker._

**Too bad.**

_Don't I know it?_

**Okay! Tell me what you think? I meant this as a oneshot, but it's so much fun to write this, and I wanted them to say so much more, so I decided to add chaps and make this a fic. This won't be updated that much, I think. When I feel like it? XXD Probably… :p Leave me a review! **

**Kiss!**


	2. The bright shining fresh morning

**I'M BACK!**

_I'm running in fear._

**YAY!**

_What is it with you morning people?_

**Huh?**

_Very elegant. _

**Now now, it's too early in the bright, shiny, fresh morning to be sarcastically like that!**

_I have the feeling you are bouncing up and down at the moment._

**AM NOT AND YOU ARE SCARY!**

_Thank you. Now why are you writing this early in the morning? Don't you have things to do?_

**Like what?**

_Like sleeping, for gods sake._

**Blah blah blah. Sleeping is boring. It's a new day! A NEW DAY! THE SUN IS SHINING!**

_You think that's news? Want to know a secret?_

**YESYESYESYES!**

_The sun shines more often. Actually, it shines every day. You just watch, next morning it'll shine too, and the day after, and after, and so on._

**And the day after that too?**

_I said '-and so on', didn't I?_

**Yeeeees…….**

_Don't you think it would mean that includes the day after that? _

**Yeeeees…….**

_Smart girl, then._

**YAY!**

_Stop the yay-ing._

**WHYWHYWHY?**

_And stop the repeating-words-using-capital-letters. _

**Why?**

_And stop the why-ing._

…………………………

**WHYWHYWHYWHY?**

_I would almost say you are a very dumb person._

**I AM NOT! I'M JUST HAPPY!**

_Well, don't be. It's irritating me._

**Happiness is irritating you?**

_Not just the happiness. It's more the fact that it's YOU who's happy._

**OH! THAT WASN'T VERY NICE, MISTER MISTER!**

_Mister mister...?_

**Yeah, well, I don't know your name, do I?**

_No you do not. And I plan on keeping things that way._

**Not nice!**

_Who ever said I was a nice person?_

………**Whatever. Anyways, you're asking me why I am writing this early in the (bright, shining, fresh) morning. Why are you responding to me, writing in the (very bright, shining, fresh) morning?**

_Do not use the words bright, shiny, fresh and morning in the same sentence again. I find it rather disturbing. _

**WELL? WELL? WELL? ANSWER ME, COWBOY!**

_I do not feel the need to reply to that, since I am not the one adressed._

**YES YOU ARE!**

_I am no 'cowboy'. _

**LIVE A LITTLE! IT IS, AFTER ALL, A BRIGHT, SHINY, FRESH MORNING!**

_No it is not. Do not use the words bright, shiny, fresh and morning in the same sentence again. I still find it rather disturbing. _

**GOOD!**

_And stop using capital letters all the time. I find it rather disturbing._

**You sure do find a lot disturbing, don't you?**

_No. I only find you disturbing._

**Well, in that case, I shall only use capital letters from now on.**

_Don't._

**YUPYUP, MY DEAR COWBOY!**

_Why, in the hell, do you think it is necessary to call me cowboy?_

**SINCE YOU REFUSE TO TELL ME YOUR NAME! I SHALL CALL YOU COWBOY UNTIL YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME!**

_The joy. If that is your only entertainment source, I think you are really pathetic. As proofs the fact you are writing on an enchanted piece of parchment at this time in the not bright, not shining, not fresh morning._

**WELL, YOU ARE WRITING TOO!**

_True. You are quite the smart one, aren't you?_

**YUPYUP!**

_You are a weird person. And very obnoxious. _

**SO WHAT? NOW TELL ME WHY YOU ARE WRITING ON THIS BRIGHT, SHINING, FRESH MORNING!**

_Simple. Because you are writing to me, and this very annoying piece of parchment begins to buzz and glow and bump into me when you are trying to write to me. You enchanted it to do that._

**OH YEAH! I DID THAT, DIDN'T I?**

_Yes you did. And I hate you for that. Not only for that, by the way. _

**YOU ARE NOT A VERY LOVING PERSON, NOW ARE YOU, COWBOY?**

_I shall not respond to that, since my name is not cowboy, or anything near._

**DOES IT RHYME WITH COWBOY?**

_Maybe. I'm the only one who knows, right?_

**SO! YOU'RE NAME ISN'T LIKE…. POWPOY?**

**Yeah, well… it was the only thing I could think of that rhymes with cowboy….**

_You are very unimaginative. And very stupid, for you forgot to use the annoying capital letters._

**Damn, yes I did…. Oh well…. I'm sure I can find something else to irritate you with.**

_Don't be too sure. It might get you hurt in the end._

**OH! DID YOU NOTICE THE SUN IS SHINING?**

_It is kind of hard not to notice when you constantly remind me of it._

**I am very proud of myself. **

_Good girl._

**THE SUUUUUUUN IS SHIIIIINIIIIIING!**

_Why are you overusing letters?_

**Err…. To emphasize the fact I'm singing?**

_It doesn't emphasize the fact you would be singing. It only emphasizes the fact you're an idiot who overuses letters._

**Oh well… THE SUUUUUUUN IS SHIIIINIIIIIING!**

'_SUUUUUUUN' isn't an existing word. Same goes for 'SHIIIINIIIIIING'. _

………………………**BUGGER OFF!**

_No._

**Oh. Well, fine! Then don't!**

_I don't. I just made that clear. When I say 'no', it means that I don't. You do not need to tell me not to after I just told you I wouldn't._

**That didn't make any sense.**

_Yes it did. You just didn't understand it._

**So just because you say something that you think was making sense, it is true?**

_It is. I understand it, and therefore, it is existing, and making sense._

**Did it ever occur to you, you didn't express it good enough for others to understand too, while you understand it yourself? Who says something exists only because you think it does?**

_Now that didn't make any sense. Is this now about how you know when something exists? Because it's proof we're still half asleep._

**NO! LET'S HAVE AN INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION!**

_Let's not._

**No, really. When does something exists?**

_When I say it does._

**So when you say Muggles can fly, they can? Isn't this more about believing so strongly in something, it actually comes into existence for you?**

_No. It exists when I can see it, touch it, hell, even eat it, for all I care. Just if you can convince yourself it's there, it's there._

**So because Luna Lovegood believes Crumplehorns exist, they do exist? Because she's so sure about it?**

_Has someone ever seen one?_

**Some BELIEVE they do!**

_I haven't seen one. Therefore it doesn't exist._

**So you need to see one before you believe they are true?**

_Yes, I guess so._

**But if someone is convinced, it exists for them, right?**

_I cannot tell. I'm not that someone, am I?_

**Common, cowboy, work with me here!**

_Shove it._

**No, I mean it! COMMON I'M SERIOUS NOW!**

_Did you stop bouncing up and down?_

**YES!**

_Will you stop the capital letters if I talk to you?_

**YESYESYESYES!**

_And the repeating words?_

**YESSSSSSSSSSS!**

_Well… Hmmmm……I do not know yet….._

**AAAAAARRGH! WEL I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO YOU ANYWAYS!**

_You do that. I have the feeling you shall be feeling a tad bit lonely when you try that._

**Blah blah blah!**

_Fish._

**Wanker.**

_Wench._

**Boy.**

_Boy?_

**Being a boy is a great insult.**

_No. Being a boy is always better than being a girl._

**WHYWHYWHY?**

_Because, you stupid annoying cow, being a boy is way easier._

**Because you don't really have a function.**

_That's not true, it's the women that don't really have a function._

**OH OH OH! SO YOU'RE THÁT TYPE OF A GUY, HUH? **

_Apparently. _

**HMMPH! So tell me, mister cowboy, what would our only function be? HUH? HUH? WELL?**

_Simple: cook._

**AAAAAARGGHHH! THAT IS SO NOT TRUE! AND WHAT DO GUYS DO?**

_They earn the living for the women who only sit at home and do nothing._

**DO NOTHING? MAYBE YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T DO A THING ALL DAY, BUT MY MOM WAS WORKING VERY HARD, EQUILLY TO MY DAD, AND ME AND MY BROTHERS HAD TO HELP A LOT!**

_So you're some poor sad family?_

**NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! AND WHAT ARE YOU? A LAZY RICH BUNCH OF MORONS?**

_No._

**THEN WHAT ARE YOU?**

_We are a hardworking family, who earned their money because of the hard working. That started centuries ago._

**SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK YOURSELF FOR ALL YOU HAVE, HUH? BECAUSE YOUR ANCESTORS HAD A LOT OF MONEY THAT YOU INHERITED, YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT LKE THIS, HUH?**

_No._

**STOP THE SHORT ANSWERS, PAL!**

_Stop the shouting, honey._

**If you were here, I would beat you all the way to… Pluto. **

_Why specifically Pluto?_

**Because I like it up there.**

_Ever been there?_

**Have you?**

_I haven't. And why should I?  
_

**Because it's nice there.**

_How would you know?_

**I just know. It's up in the sky, with no… problems.**

_Up on Pluto there would be problems too._

**Like what?**

_Like breathing. It is a planet, right?_

**Yeah, but we're wizards, right? We could invent something to make it possible to live there. Then I would go there.**

_That'd be good. All alone on some planet, without you bothering people down here on earth… Yeah, I think I'll help you inventing. To get rid of you._

**I'M SERIEUS, CONEHEAD!**

_Conehead, cowboy… Quite the imaginative girl, now are we?_

**YUPYUP! AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!**

_Good. To be honest (and I'm never honest, so consider this a sacred moment) I would come and live on Pluto too._

**You would?**

_Yeah… no. I would go to Mars._

**Yeah, Mars can be cool too.**

_I guess. _

**Yeah…**

_What the hell are we rambling about?_

**I don't know…**

_Oh well. I should stop it. To tell you a secret, you almost got me smiling. And I don't like smiling._

**I doubted you would like that. COMMON, SMILE, SILLY BOY! S-M-I-L-E!**

_Now I'm scowling. Good job, woman._

**Aww…. How sweet….**

_Stop that._

**Nope… I know it will irritate you!**

_Yeah, well, stop it. I am not sweet._

**You're right. YOU'RE CUTE!**

_Stop that!_

**Awwww!**

_And that too!_

**Hihi!**

_And that too!_

**Oh well… The sun is shining. I'm heading outside.**

_You do that._

**I think I'm going to fly a little. **

_On the Quidditchpitch?_

**Yupyup. See ya later!**

_No you won't._

**FINE! WRITE YOU LATER! SATISFIED NOW?**

_I guess._

**Okay. Bye!**

_Bye._

Ginny Weasley rose from the bed she was sitting on, hid the quill and the piece of parchment under her pillow, grabbed her broom and walked outside.

Draco Malfoy was standing in front of the window. He peered outside, and saw one student walking outside that early in the morning. It was a girl. He smirked and looked closer. That had to be the girl from the parchment. She carried a broom. He tried to see her housecolors, or even her face. But the sun was blinding him.

_Blasted shining sun…_

**YOOYOO! HULLOW! Haha, I planned on writing this sometimes, and not while I have so much chaps to update, but I simply LOVED the reviews! They were so nice! And made me all happy! SO THANK YOU ALL! #tries to hugg everyone at the same time… but fails. Dramatically#**

**_Dracoandme: _THANKYOU:P I will continue, weird enough it's the only thing I posted and don't hate… :P**

**_Me-loves-Orli: _weird girl:p Whaha, I don't mind you thinking everything is BLESS! As long as I'm bless YUPYUP MOI IS GONNA WRITE MOAH! Gawdgawd, I teuwtahleey wuv yer meaningless reviews, hoah! And they're not meaningless! THEY ACTUALLY MAKE ME HAPPY! YAY! …..Tom forces me to stop the yay-ing….-- He's such a ….. Voldo-ish-y guy… DUCK VOLDEY'S STANDING BEHIND YOUR CHAIR GIGGLING LIKE MAD WEARING A PINK BALLETOUTFIT! #gasp# Haha, just kidding:P We have to stop our Hogwarts randomness…. It blocks our healthy thinking.. HELL NO WE DON'T THINK HEALTHY! Oops….remind me next time this isn't the fort, and I have other people to thank…--' sowwy! So, thanks for tha review! WUV YAH DUDETTE!**

**_SilverOpal: _Woow! You actually managed to tell me sumthin about tha stowy! YOU'RE IMPROVING! YOU'RE GETTING….SMART! OH NO! #gasp# DUCK BEFORE EMS GONNA CHASE YAH WITH HER …verdelgingsmiddelen…:P Lost the English word for that…bummer. But yeh know what I mean, dontcha? DONTCHA? Good :p Thanks for the beta-ing:P Wuvv yah femmatey!**

**_PsychoticPoet: _Aww! Thankyou! I'm glad you think it's sweet! That kinda was what I aimed for..:P Thankyou for the review! And see, it didn't take me all that long to update! #grinning proudly#**

**_Stinkbulb: _YAY! THANKYOU! Me wrote more, see:D thááánk you for the review!**

**_SkyHighFan: _Hey, thank you for your review. I'm sorry you didn't like it and it made you fall asleep. Maybe you could tell me what you hate about it, and send me a constructive review next time? And could you please tell me what the word 'boing' means? Anyways, thank you for your opinion.**

**_Kimarachaos_****aww! I'm glad it made you laugh! #giggles stupidly# Well, here, I wrote more! I'm such a good person… thankyou for tha review! I luvved it!**

**_Mell8: _Thankyou! I updated soon, though I'm not sure I'll be able to update again in a few days… School is a very bad thing… #nods# yupyup! Anyways, thanks for the review!**

**_Paris Lilies: _OOW! Thankyou! #bounces up and down# I'm soo glad you like it! I'm currently reading your fic, 'A Slytherin and a Gryffindor', like it so far! YAY! Haha, I think they're going to find out…because I just luvv the pairing Draco-Ginny…. Well, you see, in this chap Draco got a bit further cuz he actually saw Ginny, but didn't recognize her. Poor guy…. :D Well, thankyou for reviewing! I to-tah-leey wuvv it! So yeah…THANKS! **

**YAY! Please leave a review? Please? PLEEAASE? ………..**

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**PLEASE?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Kiss!**


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